while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
