I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
