I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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