New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
