dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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