Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
