Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
