(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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