had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize