just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
