u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
