His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Life is so much better after having sex.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
