I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
