Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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