she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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