He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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