either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
