Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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