new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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