the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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