bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
