so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
