i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
