Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You can't motorboat a personality
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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