im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
