I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
