at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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