It's Friday. Sex?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
