woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He better not be in your backpack
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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