I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
