That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Say something about gay babies.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
