Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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