let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
