he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
