There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize