Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
