My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
