fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
