Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
