I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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