One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
