You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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