"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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