i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize