i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do vagina's smell?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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