U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
