His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Alive.
So much puke
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize