There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
