STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
