How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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