i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
