just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
