Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
