I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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