His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
this hospital has no fireball
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
