I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
