worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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