Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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