highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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