Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize