so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
