Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
