your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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