New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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