Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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