i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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