u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As shirtless as possible
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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