Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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