that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
